Michael Baisden Commentary: Stop Blaming The Opposite Sex: Maybe the problem is YOU!
Like many of you I have good reason to be disappointed with the opposite sex. I’ve dealt with liars, deceivers, and materialist. And even when you’re upfront about what you want, we all know people will lie to themselves in order to be with you.
Then there are the people I refer to as “The Irresponsibles.” They mess up time and time again and refuse to adapt, grow up, or take responsibility for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault…not theirs.
Like many of you I have good reason to be disappointed with the opposite sex. I’ve dealt with liars, deceivers, and materialist. And even when you’re upfront about what you want, we all know people will lie to themselves in order to be with you.
Then there are the people I refer to as “The Irresponsibles.” They mess up time and time again and refuse to adapt, grow up, or take responsibility for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault…not theirs.
And then you have The Fix a Dude or Fix a Chic! They have a ton of potential but lack the discipline, work ethic, or courage to get to the next level. We’ve all played the role of Mother Teresa trying to clean someone up, invest money, and in some cases moved them into our homes thinking that our overwhelming love will magically transform them into the perfect half of a “Super Couple!” And as we all know, that doesn’t work…right?
As you mature you realize that what you’ve been attracting into your life all these years was…you. The irresponsible people you date represent that part of you that doesn’t want to take responsibility for making better choices. Think about it, why would a responsible person chose a person who is irresponsible unless they were subconsciously trying to avoid setting standards and standing by them. By definition a responsible person would never choose an irresponsible one. It’s like oil and water.
Likewise when you date the Fix a Dude or Fix a Chic, it’s really you who is broken… and it’s you who needs to stop trippin’ on this ridiculous notion that dealing with broken people is a sign of good character…well, it isn’t. More than likely it’s a sign of insecurity.
People who have low self-esteem always surround themselves with people who will be overly impressed with them to cover up some their own inadequacies. Or let’s go even deeper; maybe you feel that by fixing them they will feel obligated to stay. But the reality is that 9 times out of 10 once the “Fix a Dude” or “Fix a Chic” are back on their feet they’ll be gone faster than the last cold beer at a July Barbecue!
Make 2014 the year of growth and maturity, and that starts by not blaming others for your situation. No matter how much you complain about being lied to, cheated on, or abused, there’s one common denominator… it always happens to YOU! So YOU are both the problem and the solution. Start focusing on the man in the mirror because what you see is a reflection of how much…or little work you put into yourself! ~ Michael Baisden
As you mature you realize that what you’ve been attracting into your life all these years was…you. The irresponsible people you date represent that part of you that doesn’t want to take responsibility for making better choices. Think about it, why would a responsible person chose a person who is irresponsible unless they were subconsciously trying to avoid setting standards and standing by them. By definition a responsible person would never choose an irresponsible one. It’s like oil and water.
Likewise when you date the Fix a Dude or Fix a Chic, it’s really you who is broken… and it’s you who needs to stop trippin’ on this ridiculous notion that dealing with broken people is a sign of good character…well, it isn’t. More than likely it’s a sign of insecurity.
People who have low self-esteem always surround themselves with people who will be overly impressed with them to cover up some their own inadequacies. Or let’s go even deeper; maybe you feel that by fixing them they will feel obligated to stay. But the reality is that 9 times out of 10 once the “Fix a Dude” or “Fix a Chic” are back on their feet they’ll be gone faster than the last cold beer at a July Barbecue!
Make 2014 the year of growth and maturity, and that starts by not blaming others for your situation. No matter how much you complain about being lied to, cheated on, or abused, there’s one common denominator… it always happens to YOU! So YOU are both the problem and the solution. Start focusing on the man in the mirror because what you see is a reflection of how much…or little work you put into yourself! ~ Michael Baisden
